Rodolfo "Jhauvz" A. Javier Jr. - Remembering what Jhauvz was

2.22.22

One year since my dear friend, Jhauvz' passing.

If Jhauvz were still with us, he would have some facts ready about today. He was a true communicator — an intelligent conversationalist.

What was it like being friends with him?  

Jhauvz was the light and life of the party. Wherever he was, he exuded positivity and fun. He was quick-witted and would never want to leave you uncomfortable. He may be known to be tactful but he was also brutally honest. When you got that side of him, it came from a place of love and concern.  

On the other hand, Jhauvz made sure he was not remiss on acknowledging an individual’s potential, be it family or friends.

For me, the way he would share his little joyful stories of his family especially his grandchildren (or “grandstars”, he called them) is what I will miss the most.  He would also talk about his discipleship and other friends with great fondness.  His eyes would glisten when he talked.  He was an enthusing speaker who speaks well about others.  He was a constant cheerer, motivator and mentor.

Jhauvz was also really good at remembering what you like and appreciate. He would go out his way and make sure that you knew you were in his thoughts. One time he was in Camp John Hay, he posted a photo and said he was absolutely certain I would love to have a long walk there. He was a such a giver. Be it gifts or as simple as a photo or experience which he knew you’d love too. He was that thoughtful.

He was one of my friends that I really love to go neck and neck on social issues for hours on end. 

He was such a loving friend who knew how to listen without forcing his own opinion on you.  We never argued.  Our friendship was always above and beyond our differences of opinion, beliefs and principles. 

Yet I feel like I failed him.

I can’t help but feel that I have failed Jhauvz as a friend especially during his last days. I was going through a tough time on my own. Among it was, I just lost my father 2 weeks prior.

Months before, I couldn’t meet him as I was always out and exposed with different people. The thought of potentially exposing Jhauvz to the dreaded COVID-19 virus was just inconceivable. Although we kept in touch as much as we could, there’s this nagging feeling that I didn’t try hard enough. He tried his best to be there for me when I needed him around. To this day, I feel like I didn’t do as much for him. I could have done more.  

Baron and I saw him the day before he passed. Even when I saw that life was seemingly leaving his body, he still thought about what I was going through and asked, yes, asked how I was doing. I felt a lump on my throat at that time and I wanted to be on my knees and cry but I knew I needed to let him feel that I was ready to let him go too.  He was sensitive that way.  He knew what I couldn't bear to hear and see.

I will always look back with great fondness of the memories I shared with Jhauvz. A rare gem of a friend who I considered to be my brother. I’m blessed to have crossed paths with Jhauvz and I believe that those who had the chance to be friends with him feel the same way too.

PS:

Forgive me if my blog entries have been anything but happy. My writing may not be impeccable but it is one of the things that uplifts my heart. I hope those who are going through the same or similar situation as I am, find a way to share their thoughts and feelings as well.

I guess what I'm trying to point out is that when you have a good friend suffering from a chronic or terminal illness, give your best effort to show your support so you won't spend your days like me hoping that you could have done better. 

I hope you find healing as I try to find mine too.