Kaye's Notes

 I left for DavNor.  Today, I left DavNor. Exactly today last year.

𝑰 𝒌𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈, "𝑮𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒃𝒚𝒆".  One death after another since 2021. Healing has been slow, nonlinear and overwhelming. One day, I took my Dad's leather belt to a repair shop.  I was asked why not buy a new one and I said, "Gusto ko nga naa ni sa mint condition para handumanan sa akong Dad" (I wanted to have it in mint condition as a keepsake for my Dad).  To which the salesperson said, "Hangtod kanus-a ka magluksa sa imong amahan?" (How long will you mourn your father?) I didn't engage further in that conversation, but to be really honest, I felt hurt by that question.  Later that day, I wondered if that was true.   While pondering about that question, I began to feel bad that I'm still grieving.  Somehow, I felt it's wrong of me to still grieve when it's already been 2 years.  Yet, is it really wrong?  To be fair, I have had multiple deaths in my circle that if I were to post every single passing of a family, friend and pe

2.22.22 One year since my dear friend, Jhauvz' passing. If Jhauvz were still with us, he would have some facts ready about today. He was a true communicator — an intelligent conversationalist. What was it like being friends with him?   Jhauvz was the light and life of the party. Wherever he was, he exuded positivity and fun. He was quick-witted and would never want to leave you uncomfortable. He may be known to be tactful but he was also brutally honest. When you got that side of him, it came from a place of love and concern.   On the other hand, Jhauvz made sure he was not remiss on acknowledging an individual’s potential, be it family or friends. For me, the way he would share his little joyful stories of his family especially his grandchildren (or “grandstars”, he called them) is what I will miss the most.  He would also talk about his discipleship and other friends with great fondness.  His eyes would glisten when he talked.  He was an enthusing speaker who speaks well ab

  Today, last year, at 12:45 AM my Dad passed on in his sleep. His passing sent my family in shock and completely heartbroken, as it was all so sudden. He was excited to go for a long trip.  Dad was fine just before he slept, or so we thought.   I have not been the same person since. How have I been?  I'm getting by.   I'm cruising through this life after losing Dad (and then friends) one day at a time — paying close attention to trigger points so as not to tickle the bp type 2 extreme mood cycles.  Why so? I learned that grief can trigger many different and unexpected emotions.  Any wrong choice will send me to mania or worse, depression.  So you might be wondering as to how I've been coping from losing so many of my loved ones and dear friends last year.   With that in mind, I've listed some of the things I've done myself that might help you too to better cope from losing a loved one: 1) Buy yourself some peace -I found that one very effective way to mourn and cop

Hi!  Kumusta?  How life has been for you?  I hope it wasn't too bad and if it were, I hope you're being surrounded with the right kind of people, holding you up.  As for me, I had a very difficult year and looking back at it, I hoped people who I thought I mattered to actually asked me how I was really feeling but I am truly touched by the handful who did. I spent my New Year's eve crying.  No, I am not sad at all.  I'm just trying to live with the pain of all the loved ones I lost at 2021 starting with my Dad on the 1st week of February then just barely 2 weeks after, one of my dearest friend, Jhauvz passed on and by mid May, my mentor, Daddy Gabby passed too, a day before I turned a year older.  Today just marks one of the firsts of the years I'll have to live without them anymore.  Of course, if God wills I'd get to live many years, that is. I know that my losses may well be nowhere near than what other people might have lost but to me, they'r